Ever felt that yearning for more meaning and purpose in your daily life? Those moments of frustration over seemingly trivial matters—what if I told you there’s a way to break free from that cycle?
How do I understand this? Because I was once in that very position until I reached a pivotal realization: each morning presents two distinct choices. You can either persist with the status quo, complain about your job, relationships, or everyday challenges, or embrace a different narrative. Consciously affirm that today marks the day to challenge yourself, to proclaim that you will rewrite the upcoming chapter of your life—a more compelling version that harmonizes with your values and truths.
I want to emphasize a straightforward truth: no one is coming to rescue you. It might sound blunt, but it’s an essential realization. Your happiness is an internal force, not something dictated by external circumstances. While external factors may play a role in your journey, your ultimate happiness comes from one person—yourself. Only you can shape and nurture your own sense of fulfillment.
It’s crucial to tune into our instincts when something doesn’t feel right. When frustration, annoyance, or resentment becomes more prominent, it’s essential to pose the big question: “WHY?” We must delve into the root cause of these emotions, beginning with examining our environment—whether at home or work. Are you possibly shouldering too much, signaling a need to slow down? It’s a moment to be candid with ourselves and conduct a thorough life audit.
I want to share a little snippet from my journey, which really made a difference in my life. Six years ago, I started at a charitable organization as a volunteer, fresh out of a challenging relationship. The camaraderie among staff and volunteers, coupled with the impact we were making, made it truly special. However, as I progressed up to the role of Facility Manager, a misalignment with senior management decisions gradually emerged. For about 18 months, I grappled with the decision to stay or leave, experiencing many restless nights.
Being a huge fan of making pros and cons lists for major decisions, I noticed my cons list accumulating rapidly. The tipping point came during a meeting when a false accusation was made, prompting me to realize it was time to move on. Shortly afterward, I submitted my resignation. The relief that followed was profound—I felt lighter and happier, and the tension in my shoulders dissipated. This journey underscored the importance of aligning with personal values and recognizing when change is necessary.
In the grand scheme of life, there’s one undeniable certainty—we will all face our mortality. It might sound morbid, yet it encapsulates an undeniable truth. Since we can’t predict when our time will come, it becomes paramount to approach each day as if it were our last. Regardless of our individual circumstances, we’re all allocated the same 24 hours daily and 168 hours weekly. If the notion of insufficient time crosses your mind, it’s worth investigating. Consider what truly matters to you amidst the hours outside work and sleep—or whether it’s spent complaining about your life, scrolling through social media, indulging in Netflix marathons, or fulfilling various roles like the organized PTA mum or your kid’s Uber driver. The pivotal question remains: are you actively crafting the life you were destined to live? We enter this world with our own unique prescription glasses, which only we can perceive our vision and the direction of our lives.
Achieving clarity in your vision requires moments of quiet reflection. In our fast-paced world, we’ve grown accustomed to constantly being available for others. While the intention to prioritize others is noble, it’s essential to recognize that you can’t effectively support others if your own well-being is neglected. As the safety instructions on planes wisely suggest, always put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others. The same principle applies in life—ensuring your own fulfilment and clarity enables you to better contribute to the well-being of those around you.
Many people find discomfort in silence or being alone, relying on their phones to constantly have company. The instant gratification of a new like or notification triggers a dopamine hit, offering a fleeting feel-good moment that others appreciate. Yet, imagine the power of believing in ourselves and recognizing our intrinsic self-worth, rendering external validation unnecessary. It’s time to stand firm in our beliefs. The world awaits our genuine selves, unfiltered by the often-misleading portrayals we present on social media. Shedding the masks of people-pleasing, let’s craft a life we genuinely love, embracing the reflection staring back at us in the mirror each day. As the saying goes, “If you can’t love yourself, how can you fully love someone else?”
Setting boundaries around my phone has been a game-changer for me. It’s not beside me at night, even though it is my alarm clock. Getting out of bed to turn it off ensures I’m not tempted to scroll through messages in the early hours. Until around 2:30 pm, it stays on Do Not Disturb, allowing me dedicated work time. For an hour, I check and clear messages, and then it’s off again during family and self-care time. A brief evening reconnection for an hour is then switched off, charging for the night. Enforcing this structure helps me resist the allure of mindless scrolling and maintain a healthy balance while breaking unhealthy habits.
I understand that many of you may think, “I can’t do that; I have kids or elderly parents, to attend to.” Luckily, our smartphones offer features that allow us to prioritize certain calls while silencing others—like those from your kids, parents, or even the school. My family and friends know that unless it’s an emergency, they can text me, and I’ll respond between 2:30-3:30 pm and 7-8 pm. In case of an urgent matter, they can always call me. It’s about finding a balance that works for you and staying accessible when needed.
Remember, boundaries are not there to keep people out; they are there for you to prioritize what is important to you.
This approach works wonders for me, as it enables me to safeguard my time and concentrate on what holds immense importance in my current season. Will your new boundaries ruffle some feathers? “Yes, absolutely.” But isn’t it more vital to prioritize what’s right for you rather than constantly worrying about others’ opinions? It’s essential to remember that you can’t alter or manage other people’s thoughts, behaviours, feelings, actions, or words. The only person within your control is yourself. Those who truly matter will understand your choices; if they don’t, it’s worth questioning whether they’ll be part of your journey into the next chapter of your life.
As you delve into a deeper understanding of yourself at an internal vibrational level, you naturally align with your values and recognize what non-negotiables hold significance to you. The beautiful outcome of this journey is the magnetic pull towards individuals resonating at your frequency or even higher. Change, although intimidating, carries an exhilarating essence. Without it, we risk stagnation, often clinging to the safety of our comfort zone. However, true transformation doesn’t blossom within the confines of playing it small. Reflect on the person you were 5 or 10 years ago. Did you take a leap of faith—whether in a job, a relationship, a new home, or relocating to a different city or country? These ventures required courage, stepping beyond the familiar, and embracing the unknown, all driven by a willingness to explore beyond the comfort zone.
While certain endeavours may not have unfolded as initially anticipated, each experience serves as a valuable lesson. In my perspective, there’s no such thing as outright failure; regardless of scale, every setback carries insights waiting to be unearthed. More often than not, these lessons illuminate aspects of ourselves that warrant understanding. Are we prone to habitually saying yes when we mean no? Do we act solely to appease others, overlooking our own feelings in the process? It’s crucial to consider the significance of our own emotions and recognize that they deserve equal consideration. After all, our personal growth often hinges on these reflections.
Prioritizing self-care is immensely crucial. It communicates to others that you deeply care for yourself and underscores your recognition of self-worth. As you embark on a journey of self-discovery, aligning with your true self fosters genuine happiness and contentment. This positive transformation radiates within you and influences your living space, workplace, and the company you keep. Speaking from the perspective of a mother, I’ve found that my own happiness directly correlates with the well-being of my kids, creating a mutually beneficial scenario—a true win-win!
Finding alignment with your true self, especially on challenging days (because we’re all human), provides a perspective that makes it easier to navigate unforeseen setbacks. Even if the day doesn’t go according to plan, reflecting on the positive moments—whether it’s the simple act of getting out of bed or having a shower—becomes more accessible. Having battled depression for years, I intimately understand the significance of acknowledging these small victories on challenging days.
Our culture tends to focus on celebrating only significant achievements—job promotions, overseas trips, sports victories, or shedding a few kilograms. It’s time to shift our perspective and appreciate daily small victories. Whether it’s the consistent effort that led to a work promotion, saving a bit of money weekly for a planned holiday, putting in extra practice for a sports triumph, or the daily commitment to exercise and healthy eating for weight loss, these smaller wins are just as worthy of celebration. Let’s acknowledge and value the daily steps that pave the way for our larger accomplishments.
It’s through these small steps that are the building blocks that pave the way to our goals. I encourage you to self-reflect and identify the small, actionable steps you can take to progress toward your goals. Journaling proves to be a powerful tool in this process—transforming a dream into a goal by putting it in writing, breaking that goal into manageable steps to create a plan, and then executing it through deliberate actions. Remember, it’s these incremental actions that bring your dreams to life.
Journaling is also an effective tool for recognizing patterns during the highs and lows of life’s journey. When we are out of alignment with ourselves, it can feel like we’re stuck on the hamster wheel of life. There’s a familiar cycle: things go well in relationships or work, followed by a sense of frustration as you feel undervalued despite your efforts. Resentment sets in, but the hope that things will improve keeps you hanging on. Despite your intuitive feelings, you might ignore them as the situation temporarily improves. This marks the beginning of a recurring and often draining cycle.
Take time to truly get to know yourself from the inside out. You’ve got this! I totally believe in you!
