How would your life feel if you could spark more happiness and joy into it?
Is your life being taken over by the daily grind of surviving merely in survival mode or on autopilot?
I know this was me once. As a family having our allocated time slots for the bathroom in the morning, breakfast, before trying to wrangle kids off to school, have less than 10 mins to get out of Mum mode and into work mode. Spend 7 hours at work, before repeating the 10 mins before from work mode, back into Mum mode. After catching up on kids’ day, it was time to open the laptop up to do a 1 hours worth of work before thinking about dinner. After dinner & dishes it was back to laptop to finish off work what was needed for next day. Then time to scroll social media before bed.
Does this sound like you?
This was my life for a long time, until I finally had the realization that I wasn’t happy with this lifestyle. Work was taking over my life. Not only was I unhappy but so where my kids. There is nothing worse than having a stressed-out Mum, if my kids had also had a bad day.
Something had to give!
I had to learn to delegate some of my work to other team members, so I wasn’t working at home as much. Up until this point this was hard as I had learnt to be fiercely independent and if I wanted something done, I had to do it myself. I had to learn to set boundaries with Management that I wouldn’t answer my phone before 6am or reply till any emails after 5pm. I had to start priotizing my life.
Remember we only get one shot at this life. I knew I would much rather spend this time doing things that bring me happiness & joy.
So, you ask what is the difference between happiness & joy:
- Happiness – is a state of being content and satisfied with your life. It is often influenced by external factors, such as achievements or material possessions.
- Joy – is a deeper, more profound feeling of delight and fulfilment, which comes from within and is independent of external circumstances.
When you feel stuck and on autopilot you find yourself unmotivated, a sense of monotony where repetitive cycles and boredom kick in. It involves going through the motions without actively engaging in life, leading to a sense of emptiness and unfulfillment.
If this is you right now, have a think back to a day when you felt happier than you do right now. A good way to do this is grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left hand side write down everything you did in that day. On the other side write down everything you did today. Compare the difference.
Only you can change this outcome, but it takes admitting to yourself where you are currently at. Owning and admitting to yourself that you are stuck in a rut encourages you to make the changes necessary, so you can start feeling the happiness & joy you felt as that person on the left hand side of the paper.
Remember it only takes small steps, small changes that will result in big outcomes.
Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you, your values and passions. Then align these actions and decisions with these values.
Set some clear meaningful, achievable goals that align with your values and passions. Audit yourself every few months to see & track your progress. Most importantly celebrate the small wins!! Celebrating the small wins keeps you focused on achieving your goals. This could just be buying a small treat, like a dessert or cup of coffee from your favourite cafe, share your achievement on social media or meet up with a friend. I know we use reward charts for our kids with they are younger, but they are still just as affective for adults, and one of my personal favourites.
Embrace growth and challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone, by learning and seeking out new opportunities with personal or professional growth. Unbrace being a student again as this is where the growth happens.
Surround yourself with positive people as they will help you get to your goals quicker. Well-meaning people usually family & friends will at times struggle with these changes, but if they have not done what you are looking to achieve, then you don’t have to take on board what they are saying. Our brains are always looking for ways to protect ourselves, saying we can’t do something, we’re not good enough or that we don’t have what it takes to succeed. We are all given our own unique prescription glasses, that only allows us to see fully see our dreams and goals through them. To fully see this, we must surround ourselves with people who will encourage & supports us not tell you that you can’t do it.
Prioritising your self-care is essential. This is where we get to be selfish and look after ourselves for a bit. Something as simple as getting some exercise, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, unplug from technology with regularly breaks or even just setting boundaries and creating a routine. We can not fill someone’s else cup if we are filling from our own empty cup.
I want to acknowledge that you are awesome, I believe you are meant for more, you deserve more, but it does take you to make the choice. For you to believe in yourself!
Remember your happiness and joy is not a destination but rather ongoing journey. Embrace the process of self-discovery, growth, and creating a life that aligns with your true desires & beliefs. You have the power to break free from feeling stuck and live a life filled with purpose and fulfilment.
